It’s just a few days away from 2019 and this year is coming to a close. Looking back, it was a crazy ass time and I wouldn’t want to repeat it. There were many good times and memories that I will take away from it, but it is also a year of heartache and loss.
This year I was diagnosed with depression and Chiari Malformation while dealing with my Grandpa’s Cancer and the loss of an aunt and an uncle. My 13 year old cat passed away and my cat Mouse whom I’ve had for 7 years ran away. Like crap, …as if running my business and having 3 kids wasn’t enough to deal with. When it rains…
2018 wasn’t totally awful though. I gained a new step-mom and 2 step-brothers. All my life I’ve wanted my dad to find someone who would love him as much as I do, and accept him for all his quirks, and despite them. She accepts my babies as her grandchildren and I love her with all my heart.
I decided a few months back that I needed change. Not on the grand scale, but on a small one. With all my things. I need space for my mind to wander. I need room for my kids to run and play in my home without tripping on toys or whatever. I want to be able to see my floors most of the time and to not feel like all I do is clean. So I figure if I get rid of a ton of my clothes, kids’ toys, extra blankets, lotions, etc, that there won’t be as much to pick up, to wash, and to get stressed about.
My motto for 2019 is “Time to get your shit together, Mama!”. January is usually a month of promises; lose weight, make more money, be a better me, stay in touch with friends and family, blah, blah, blah. Same shit, different year, right? I want more than that. I want to make new friends, get truly healthy, let go of shit that has held me back and kept me scared. Fuck guilt. Fuck depression. Fuck old shit that doesn’t matter anymore. Fuck clutter and all the stress that piles up with it. I’m purging tons of my shit. I have literally driven 4 truckloads of stuff to donation places and it feels amazing. I am determined to get rid of half of my belongings. Like why do I have 7 sets of sheets for my bed? I have 3 nice sets and they’re the only ones I use any more. Donate the rest. Why do I need 2 lemon squeezers? A whole closet and dresser full of clothes when I wear the same 10 or so outfits? I am ready for a de-cluttered and less-stressed life. I am letting go.
At some point in our lives we have to take responsibility for ourselves and our future. There is so much from our past that can hold us back; Things, people, memories, and they all have the potential to keep us from living life to it’s fullest. It sounds as cheesy as wisconsin, but it’s true. When you start to clear clutter from your home, your mind, and your heart, things surface that you can heal from and move forward. I hope that everyone gets a chance to start over with the new year that is bigger than a number in the bank or on the scale.