It’s 10 pm and my son still wont fall asleep and is asking for me to read him a story. I say “no, but why dont I TELL you a story”. This is how it went…

Me: “Once upon a time there was a little boy named Conor…”
Conor: “Hey that’s ME!”
Me: “Yes, well one day conor was walking down the road and he hears a THUNK, THUNK, THUNK and the noise seems to be shaking the ground. He looks around to see a giant T-rex walking behind him. THUNK, THUNK it gets closer. Conor says, DONT EAT ME, I’m just a kid!
And the dinosaur leans down and says I wont eat you, I just want you to be my friend, My names Dino Fred. Conor says, well ok I’ve never been friends with a dino before but, sure. So they start walking down the road, THUNK THUNK, and Fred says, so what happens now?
Conor suggests they go fishing. They load up their poles, get some worms, and sit by the water. They sit there for a while talking but when they try to cast out their lines, Dino Fred couldn’t reel it in. His teeny tiny arms were too short.
Conor then suggests they go to the park and play. Dino Fred was too big for the teeter totter. Conor couldn’t life him off the ground. Fred’s butt was too big for the slide, and the swing, and it was even too big to sit on the benches.
What do Dino’s do for fun, Conor asked his new friend Fred.
Well, we skip, and chase things, and we especially like to go on long walks. Some times I like to sing and see how loud I can roar. That all sounded like tons of fun to Conor. They looked and looked for the perfect place  to do all those things.                                                              At the library they got SHUSHED. At the restaurant they kept knocking peoples tables over, which made a huge mess and got them plenty of funny looks.
They looked all over and finally found a nice big open field with lots of bugs and flowers. They rolled on the ground. They chased bugs. They picked bouquets of flowers for their moms. They ran until they were so tired that all they wanted to do was go to sleep. They made plans to play again the next day. Conor was glad for his new friend Fred. The End.

Ok buddy time for sleep”

Conor: “That was a good story mom. My turn.
Once upon a time there was a little girl named Mom. Mom was walking down a road. THUNK THUNK. IT was a T-Rex. His name was T-Rex. He said Mom was going to be his friend. Then a big Pteradactyl came and swooped down. He had big sharp teeth and a big horn on the back of his head. He picked mom up and brought her to his nest on top of the hill and fed her to his babies. The T-rex tried to save Mom, But he couldn’t. THE END. ”

Me: silence… because how do you top that? ?